“If one partner notices the other racing ahead, the partner who is behind should do something to distract the offender. The former can call out the other’s name in a pronounced fashion; bark like a dog; make an idiotic face; squeeze the other’s testicles or breasts to a point where that becomes annoying; slap the other on top of the head; talk about how some cultures eat snails; or ask whether or not the New York Mets will win the World Series.
“Practice this procedure every day at the same time if possible, and keep a chart of the pulse-rate and blood-pressure readings of each partner, the time orgasms occurred and their duration. Eventually, perhaps only after many hours of practice, you will be able to achieve a simultaneous orgasm—and along the way you will find that you will have to communicate about sex as you have never communicated before, because the teamwork entailed in achieving a simultaneous orgasm requires such back-and-forth. You will have to discuss everything that excites you and disgusts you, both sexually and in your relationship in general. Because everything that happens between you in and outside the bedroom—every thought, every feeling, every impulse, that arises concerning each other—affects your sexuality. Any questions?”