I’m not actually “in love” with him. I love him, but I’m not in love with him.
Leo Buscaglia lectures that we are all one-winged angels who live to our fullest human potential only when we join intimately with another person. Poets, artists, musicians tell us that love is the most important element of all human experience. To paraphrase George Bernard Shaw, love is a good idea, someone ought to try it. In spite of our fixation with the concept of love, we continue either to be falling into or out of it, getting stuck with it, doing something dangerous or illegal in the name of it, killing each other over it, eating or purging because of its absence, or spending considerable time trying to make it. We seem to love to make a mess of whatever love is. If we listen to composers of popular songs, love is akin to a terribly debilitating viral condition rendering its victim emotionally hypnotized, in a type of “love seizure.” Somehow, in some way, we are taught eight basic “love lies” that get in the way of the super love that I will describe later in this chapter, the super love necessary for super sex. We need the joy of love before we can find the joy of sex, but the following distortions about loving create a serious obstacle to finding people to embrace.