YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/OWNING AND OPERATING YOUR OWN SEX CLINIC: BUILDING FOUNDATIONS FOR FURTHER GROWTH
We haven’t been to church together in so long that I don’t think we know where it is.
WIFE
Many of the couples in the super marital sex program found jt meaningful for them to attend a religious service together. Where differences in religions existed, couples were asked to visit the church or temple of each spouse at least once. Whether or not formal religion was a part of a couple’s life, most husbands and wives had attended church as a child. Revisiting their place of worship as a shared gesture of commitment was of value to the spiritual communication system within the marriage.
I asked the couples to discuss their belief systems, the answer to questions about the meaning of life and death, about their prayers, hopes, and fears. Some couples requested help from a clergyperson at this part of their program, and in some cases the couples returned to more regular involvement in religious services. Whether or not such reinvolvement took place, the rediscovery of the value of discussing philosophies of life and living was a unifying force in the relationships.
If you have followed along with this program, if you have established your own private sex clinic, you have taken the major strides toward finding super marital sex in your relationship. Even if you have tried and found problems, you have moved closer to changing things for the better. As you prepare to read the final section of this book, dealing with the problems of everyday living as they affect sexuality in marriage, remember what the couples came to call the four “P’s” of super marital sex clinic operation:
Perspective in your approach to sexuality. Remember that your living style, your tendency to run hot or cold at various times, is a key part of your sexual life. A wide perspective on the sexual system is necessary for understanding the fourth perspective of sexuality.
Patience with your self and your relationship. All human growth and development takes place over a long period of time and in waves of progress and regression. Be at least as patient with your marital sex as you are with your children and others you love.
Persistence in your attention to the intimacy within your marriage. Starting to improve, then surrendering, getting distracted by other “more important things,” or getting involved in “fads” of self-improvement only detracts from the task of building intimacy. Take the tests in this book, follow up on their indications, and stick with the changes you select.
Pride in yourself and your marriage is important for continued growth. Our society has valued self-esteem, but marital esteem is every bit as important.
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